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Switching Channels

Most of the time in this column, I talk about the things at Disney I like.

With that, I'm bound to draw a few nasty e-mails and a congressional hearing from Michael Eisner when I write what I'm about to write.

I don't like the Disney Channel.

Mind you, I don't think I'm supposed to like it. I'm way past puberty.

Most of the material with the Disney name on it has the distinction of not only being enjoyable for kids, but for adults as well. There's no embarrassment in going to see Tarzan without kids. The same couldn't be said for two adults who go see Pokemon together.

The Disney Channel is unique in Disney because for the most part, there's little for the adults to enjoy.

I have tried.

The channel button on the remote control of my TV is well worn. I'm one of those annoying channel surfers. I watch TV like I watch the Internet … if it's not holding my interest, I just click away.

On my local cable system, Disney falls right between CNN and the ESPNs. That means that as I'm flipping, I usually pass by the Disney Channel.

I flip past it in the morning and find a show about some people who live "out of a box" who invite the neighborhood kids in. In most urban areas, people living in boxes are called "homeless" and you wouldn't want you kids frolicking with most of them.

I flip on in the afternoon and I see the Family Ties rip-off Growing Pains. There are a lot of television shows from the past I feel nostalgic about. Shows that I like to see again on one of the nostalgia channels. Growing Pains isn't one of them. It was always a pain.

I flip on in the evening and am "treated" to a television concert by Britney Spears. Know why her latest hit is called Oops, I Did It Again? It's because it's Baby Hit Me One More Time again. Same song, new lyrics. I hit the channel changer one more time.

The only interesting time of the day to watch the Disney Channel is around 2 a.m. Getting home really late the other night, I happened to flip on Disney and saw an old Disneyland special with a young Kurt Russell and the Osmonds. So that's what Nature's Wonderland looked like. The only bad part was the Osmonds' attempt to set an all-time bubble gum record.

In the end, the Disney Channel didn't offer me much. Just another flip on the remote.

It can be argued that the channel is catering only to children. In that regard, children love the station, and that counts for a lot in a time when it's tougher and tougher to find programming for your kids.

You just expect a little better from Disney. It's not a case of the silly rabbit trying to steal cereal that's "just for kids." It would just be nice if the parents can enjoy the programming alongside the kids. That's what Disney is to most people, and the Disney Channel doesn't reflect that.

Something Disney Fans Would Like to See: Dinosaur at Animal Kingdom returned a little more to its original Countdown to Extinction state. Dinosaurs play rough.

Something Disney Fans Would Not Like to See: A renaming of Indiana Jones at Disneyland to The Emperor's New Groove and incorporate this Fall's animated feature.

Under the Weather: No word on if those 200 people that got sick aboard the Disney Cruise Ship got sick because Inspector Gadget was the on-board movie.

What if It Was a Disney Movie: Rocky and Bullwinkle would be "Chip and Dale." In their purest form, of course. Without Gadget and the other Rescue Rangers.

Until next time … No, Nickelodeon isn't much better during the day, but I can't get enough of those old Jeffersons reruns at night.