B.O.R.E.D.
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B.O.R.E.D
Box Office Reported Eloquently by Daniel
Scoop of the Week
It's amazing. I've only been at this for two weeks and I'm already getting
strange e-mails. Like the other day I got one sent from AnnieMazement with the
subject header "HOTR script." After thinking about all the possible meanings
(History of Time Radios, Horses on the Run, He Only Talks Randomly, Helga Ocher:
Trained Robber, Helium on the Robot, Home on the Range. . oh that's it!) I open
it up. Surely this can't be a real script. As I sip my orange juice I begin to
read.
HOME ON THE RANGE
By: Disney
If it's by Disney then it must real! Wow, isn't this exciting? I should have started writing articles a long time ago. The beginning of the script is a little dry, but it basically sets up the story of a farm that's going to be foreclosed. Obviously the farms occupants are a bit upset about this news.
EXT. FARM
The time is the old west. Two cows stand grazing at a field. The camera takes a swooping shot around to close in on BOSSIE.
BOSSIE
What are we going to do Bessie? Our owners have lost the farm! We need to come up with a plan fast.
BESSIE
I don't know where we should go from here, as we no longer can live here. We need a strategy.
BOSSIE
Some ideas is what we require. I'm unable to come up with anything. Soon we must leave.
BESSIE
Yes, we will have to go, but first we need to map things out in advance. I don't know what to do.
This is just a sample of some of the dramatic moments this picture offers. Later BOSSIE reveals that she was always jealous of BESSIE because her spots were more beautiful. Of course, this is just a tip off to a surprise twist later on (Mickey Moo anyone?). The songs in this productions also look good:
SONG
COME Y'ALL TO THE FARM
BOSSIE
Calling all creatures big or small
We have a cause worth fighting for
If you come down to the farm here
You'll help protect us all from harm
Come y'all to the farm
We're in major trouble
Come y'all to the farm
It couldn't be more stranger
Come y'all to the farm
It's getting worser every minute
Come y'all to the farm
Come y'all
I have to say after reading the whole script that I was little disappointed with the surprise ending. The farm owners in order to save the farm decide to turn it into a McDonalds. It's a bit grim for a Disney production and I don't think the cross promotion will really work with that. Still awaiting someone to mail me the Haunted Mansion script, or maybe if I put my mail address they'll just send me an early print of the movie. But wait, if they did that I couldn't project it anyway so you might as well just send me an e-mail.
Classic quote of the week: "You have saved our lives we are eternally grateful." - Aliens from Toy Story 2
Tragic quote of the week: "It wasn't me, I swear!" - Tantor from Tarzan after hearing an explosion
This weekend
The big new release this weekend is Rundown with the Rock. The film has had
strong backing from Universal and looks to make a solid opening weekend. Opening
in over 3,000 theaters, the Rundown should make at least $25.4 million.
Underworld had a good first weekend, but it doesn't appear to be having too sturdy of legs at this point. With some of the audience being pulled away for new releases, Underworld might fall about 49% to $11.2 million.
Buena Vista's release Under the Tuscan Sun is a rather hard film to pinpoint. The film is premiering in a somewhat small 1,200 theaters. Diane Lane is a respected actress, but not necessarily a huge box office draw. The film could open rather modestly at around $9.2 million.
Secondhand Lions opened with $12.1 million dollars and has been generally getting favorable reviews. With no new family competition in the marketplace the film should only slip around 31% to $8.3 million.
The Fighting Temptations could drop around 40% to $7.1 million. Once Upon a Time in Mexico will drop about half for the second weekend in a row to make $5.5 million
The latest Ben Stiller comedy Duplex is a rather strange dark film. While Stiller is a draw, the film's odd nature might hinder it from bringing in big grosses. The Miramax film has seen it's release date re-scheduled many times which is not usually a good sign. The film might open as low as $7.5 million.
Typically (as readers of B.O.R.E.D should be able to recite by heart now) horror films are front-loaded and drop off quickly. Cold Creek Manor will follow the typical pattern and fall about 49% to $4.2 million.
Matchstick Men should have sturdy legs and only fall 36% to make $4.6 million.
Lost in Translation has had a great run in limited release, even cracking into the top 10 unexpectedly last weekend. With the film expanding into more than 400 theaters it should ease up to $4.1 million.
Top 10 Prediction:
#1 - Rundown $25.5 million
#2 - Underworld $11.1 million
#3 - Under the Tuscan Sun $9.2 million
#4 - Secondhand Lions $8.3 million
#5 - Duplex $7.5 million
#6 - Fighting Temptations $7.1 million
#7 - Once Upon a Time in Mexico $5.5 million
#8 - Matchstick Men $4.9 million
#9 - Cold Creek Manor $4.2 million
#10 - Lost in Translation $4.1 million
Last Weekend
| Film | My Prediction | Actual | Diff (in tents of million) | Accuracy |
| Underworld | 20.4 | 21.8 | 1.4 | 93.58% |
| Fighting Temptations | 13.1 | 11.8 | 1.3 | 88.98% |
| Pirates of the Caribbean | 3.7 | 3.5 | 0.2 | 94.29% |
| Cold Creek Manor | 9.1 | 8.2 | 0.9 | 89.02% |
| Secondhand Lions | 8.1 | 12.1 | 4 | 66.94% |
| Dickie Roberts | 3.2 | 3.8 | 0.6 | 84.21% |
| Anything Else | 2.9 | 1.7 | 1.2 | 29.41% |
| Once Upon a Time in Mexico | 12.5 | 11 | 1.5 | 86.36% |
| Cabin Fever | 4 | 3.9 | 0.1 | 97.44% |
| Matchstick Men | 8.5 | 7.6 | 0.9 | 88.16% |
|
Total Accuracy |
81.84% | |||
If it was a Disney film . . .
Lost in Translation would be about how when you translate a German website
through Babelfish, Space Mountain comes up as Area Hill.
By the way, in case you were wondering the above story is a fabrication. No animals were hurt in the making of the article. It was written entirely on location.
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-- Daniel Kaplan
-- Posted September 26, 2003