B.O.R.E.D
Box Office Reported Eloquently by Daniel

Consistency, Consistency, Consistency
Brother Bear has had a huge marketing push by Disney which has paid off so far with a successful theatrical release. However, when one examines some of the items used you might wonder how many people actually saw the movie or if it's supposed to make sense. For example at Disney's California Adventure they are passing out totem cards (baseball cards) with pictures of characters on them. When you turn them around they have a zodiac like message. For example if, like me, you were born between August 22 and September 21 you would be considered a Brown Bear. Now I thought to myself, that's a cute idea isn't it. But wait a second, in the movie the lead character Kenai doesn't know what kind of totem he's going to get. So either the tribe didn't keep track of seasons through the stars or there's inconsistency. Another thing is the card lists the personality of a bear as practical, hard-working, independent and modest. Nowhere does it mention love which is what the bear represents in the film and also in the Magic of Brother Bear Show. Speaking of that show, it begins with a man walking out on stage and introducing himself as a woodcarver. He says he's carving a new totem for a ceremony tomorrow. When the totem is finally revealed it's about as big as the woodcarver. Now in the film you wear the totem around your neck, so it's a little strange that it's quite that big. Even stranger is the fact that the woodcarver says the moose stands for endurance. However when you visit Kenai's Spirit Cave it says moose stands for honest/dependable. So which is it? I find this all highly disturbing as now I don't know whether my totem stands for one thing or another. Am I lovable or hard-working? I need to know!!

If You Mention That Cat Just One More Time. . .
This week I visited Universal Studios in Hollywood. I usually go about once a decade, have a great time, then wait about a decade to visit again. Why? Well to be honest while I think most of Universal's attractions are quite well done, they just don't interest me personally. Sure watching fire explosions are great but after the 30th time it just doesn't wow me the same way. I've noticed a few changes in Universal since the last time, oh about 8 years ago. For one thing Shrek has completely taken over every store. Seriously, every store plays Shrek non-stop like it's some sort of rule or something. I understand the movie was popular but isn't that a bit of an overkill? What's even funnier is that the stores must all start the movie at different times because I walked from one shop to another and saw the end credits, then the confrontation between Donkey and Shrek, then the beginning, then the end credits again. AUGH! Oh, and I think I heard the main theme about 15 times before I left the park that day. You know, the "It Is You Who I Have Loved" song minus the lyrics.

However, all of this pales in comparison to what has to be the most ridiculous over-promotion I've ever seen in a theme park. There's a movie coming out from Universal next month involving a feline wearing a large cap of some sort. I don't want to mention the movie by name, because I feel it's already gotten way too much marketing out of me already. Anyway, we get on the Backlot Tour and we see about 8 billboards for this movie, hear it mentioned in the narration about 3 times too. Then we get on the escalators down to the lower lot where we again see about 3 billboards. The upper lot must have had one somewhere. 2 stores had sections dedicated to the film along with more advertising. Seriously, if you wanted to play a drinking game of every time "The Kitten Wearing the Headgear" is mentioned or seen you would be drunk before you hit one attraction. And you know what's the saddest thing about all of this? I had no desire to see the film before I entered the park, but now some of my friends are excited about it so I'll see it with them. AAAAH! It's working! Make it stop!! Next thing we know Disney will start having huge balloon icons strategically placed arou. . . . ..oh wait.

Synergy. . .you are profound. You make the world go 'round and 'round