B.O.R.E.D. - Feb 27, 2004

B.O.R.E.D.
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by Daniel Kaplan (archives)
February 27, 2004
Super Millionaire, Orange Stingers, Celebrity Mole and much more in this week's B.O.R.E.D.

B.O.R.E.D
Box Office Reported Eloquently by Daniel

You know all this latest news about Disney has my head spinning faster than a teacup. Oh wait, I guess that's not that applicable anymore. Hmmm. . . how about faster than a Golden Zephyr? No, that's not really that fast. Faster than Astro Orbiter? I don't know, it just doesn't have the right sound. Maybe faster than the Orange Stinger. That sounds good. Ok, take two. You know all this latest news about Disney has my head spinning faster than the Orange Stinger. Hmm, I'm not sure if I really like that introduction. Sorry folks, excuse me just a second. Umm, Roger Rabbit's Cartoon Spin, Magic Carpets of Aladdin, Caravan Carrousel, Mission Space. . I got it! Ok, take three. You know all this latest news about Disney has my head spinning faster than Mission Space. Which ironically doesn't spin that fast. No seriously, it doesn't. From what I've heard it spins at about 38 m.p.h. Not too bad, but much less than many people might estimate. Of course when you're in that small of a circle that amount of speed makes a tremendous force. Anyway, well my head spinning so much that I thought I could stretch this spinning thing over the course of an article. As you can tell already, it doesn't appear to be working as this is quite boring and tedious. So let's switch channels.

<<FLIP>>

That was easy enough, wasn't it? Super Millionaire premiered on Sunday. The show itself is very similar to the old version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? but it now has, "the extra dimension." A dimension of sight, a dimension of sound, a dimension of. . .ok maybe not that dimension. The new dimension here involves money, and lots more of it. See before you would watch contestants fumble trying to save their lifelines for harder questions, and then occasionally even getting to the million dollar question. Now you get to watch contestants fumble trying to save their lifelines for harder questions, and occasionally get to the million dollar question. There are some higher levels of course to make you interested, but it's quite obvious that getting up to the $10 million dollar question is somewhat akin to growing gills or getting a reservation at Cinderella's Royal Table. I can't wait to see what a $10 million dollar question looks like. I can just picture Regis very calm and collected relaying the following question, "How many freckles does George Bush have on his left foot?" Seriously though, what would the question be? Seeing as hard as the other questions are I'm wondering if the $10 million dollar question would be in San script and you have to translate the question and then answer it. Now in this "next dimension" are two new lifelines, Three Wise Men (thump) and Double Dip (thump thump). Apparently we've gone from a cute sounding synthesizer to a loud drum. Very ominous. Also very ominous is the freaky music and lighting that make the Three Wise Men look like the grim reaper or some bad trailer for a supernatural thriller. To make things more dramatic, the Three Wise Men are not revealed until you get to the "next dimension." Why? I'm not sure. Maybe they don't get paid if nobody sees their face.

<<FLIP>>

Ok, they totally got me. I had not idea "The Mole" was Angie. And why would I? The whole model trick was done last year and I thought for sure they wouldn't do that again. Dennis, you had me fooled and played the game well. Poor Corbin, he was on the right track and everything. I heard ABC is not going to do another season so I guess we won't get to see him play the game again. Hopefully somebody else will pick up the show. If they do, I hope they find somebody like Anderson Cooper to host. The show wasn't the same after he left.

<<FLIP>>

Albright this isn't exactly Disney related, but what is up with American Idol this year? Very strange contestants and so far nobody's really standing out. I'm pulling for John Stevens, the red-haired Frank Sinatra sound-alike that sings next week. Oh and it seems that Ryan Seacrest's shtick involves not being funny. Well I know not being funny Ryan, and you aren't funny. I mean, you aren't not funny. I mean . . .oh never mind.

<<FLIP>>

Just now discovering Fillmore! on Toon Disney. What a brilliant show. Great writing and wonderful vocabulary usage for kids. Seems to me to be a show that goes beyond just trying to entertain kids, and to actually try to help them improve their lives a little bit. High class show that deserves more coverage and more acknowledgment.

<<FLIP>>

If America's Funniest Home Videos shows another clip involving a pinata, I think I will scream.

<<FLIP>>

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