B.O.R.E.D.
Box Office Reportedly Eloquently by Daniel

Cliched Storylines?

Sometimes you wonder where people get their ideas.  Attractions like Rock 'n Roller Coaster where the theming stems from you getting to a concert on time have caused me to scratch my head.  In general I've found that theming with theme parks has been rather stale lately.  Let's look at the last 8 years of theme park history.  We've had the New Tomorrowland at Disneyland, a strange blend of old and new that hasn't really gelled.  California Adventure was a rather unimaginative yawn with many concepts explored in other theme parks before.  Animal Kingdom while providing a very different feel than the other Disney parks and an enhanced attention to detail, really didn't do anything besides what other people had done before better.  Test Track had a unique feel to it, but Mission: Space comes across like a really expensive exhibit from a science museum.

 

Even the much loved Tokyo Disney Sea provided few ideas that hadn't been explored before.  While the scale and sheer beauty of the park are quite amazing, the theming choices are fairly bland.  Arabian Coast, American Waterfront and Mediterranean Harbor duplicate reality in an artistic way.  Mysterious Island goes into Jules Verne myth.  Port Discovery is similar to the Tomorrowlands of the American theme parks.  The most originality is found in the Mermaid Lagoon area.

 

Outside of Disney, Universal bases it's attractions on its movies.  Maybe not completely original, but in the theme park world some of them have been quite different.  Men in Black: Alien Attack has probably the most clever storyline of just about any attraction.  It's theming is quite unique as it is one of the few highly themed attractions set in modern times.  Terminator 3D has a dark sort of cyberpunk theming.  Islands of Adventure has some original areas including it's Suess Landing and Marvel Super Hero Island.  Toon Lagoon is a little bland and the Lost Continent just adds another medieval themed area to the huge list.

 

Now I'm not saying that these attractions are bad at all, I'm just saying that the story choices have been a little predictable lately.  Of the four attractions being currently built (Stitch's Great Escape, Soarin' , Expedition Everest and the stunt show at Disney MGM Studios) Soarin' and Everest are retread concepts from California.  I'm not too excited about seeing another "mountain" attraction, as that theme has been done kind of to death around the world.  It looks like the whole yeti subplot and more realistic theming for Expedition Everest should keep it from being too similar.

 

So if theme parks have been producing bland themes, than what could they be producing?  Well, there are some theming concepts that in my mind really have not been done, or at least to a major extent, that are just begging to get the attraction treatment:

 

A Spy themed attraction

I'm sure everybody's thought of it, a James Bond-ish attraction where your vehicle changes shape in different amazing situations.  Or it could be just a simple motorcycle chase through a bad part of town.  Spies are such a fun topic to explore, and I can only imagine a high-budgeted E-ticket would be an absolute hoot.

 

Underwater themed attraction

Yes, Mermaid Lagoon and Sea World have explored these topics.  But since 20,000 Leagues under the Sea and the Submarine Voyage have gone into history, there's a major void for an underwater adventure.

 

Comedic attraction

How about an attraction that doesn't take itself seriously at all.  While some Disney attractions have their comedic elements there really aren't any that are just all about creating gags and having fun.  I personally was shocked when Universal decided to make a Shrek themed attraction a 3-d attraction.  A Shrek dark ride that spoofed Disney attractions would have been hilarious.

 

Mysterious attraction

I guess the reason nobody has tried a mystery attraction is because they don't expect guests to follow along the storyline.  But if you could create some sort of exciting attraction that had a mystery in it, then the people who really paid attention would have an extra bonus.  I would love to see a theme park equivalent of a "Sixth Sense" twist.

 

Quote of the week: "Will that be new Coke, diet Coke, classic Coke, cherry Coke or caffeine-free Coke?" - Carolyn McAdams from Flight of the Navigator

 

Tragic quote of the week: "Nanu sure like the way you teach. - Nanu from World's Greatest Athlete

 

What's the point?

Why do car advertisements show you people recklessly driving their car?  On the bottom of the ad they have to put the message, "TRAINED DRIVER ON CLOSED COURSE, DO NOT ATTEMPT", so if they don't want you to drive that way why show you?  You're not allowed (according to their own rules) to do that with your own car so why do you need to know what you're never going to be capable of?  Is it some kind of gloating from car manufacturers?  A carrot being dangled in front of a rabbit's face before being pulled away?

 

This weekend:

#1   - Spiderman 2 $101.6 million

#2   - Fahrenheit 911 $24.1 million

#3   - Dodgeball $15.5 million

#4    - White Chicks $12.1 million

#5   - Terminal $11.2 million

#6   - The Notebook $10 million

#7   - Harry Potter 3 $8 million

#8   - Shrek 2 $7.5 million

#9   - Garfield: The Movie $4.5 million

#10 - Two Brothers $3.1 million

 

If it were a Disney film. . .Two Brothers would be a civil war drama where "one wore blue, and one wore gray."