B.O.R.E.D.
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B.O.R.E.D.
Box Office Eloquently Reported by Daniel
Back and Better Than Ever. . . Well Hopefully
Well I'm back! I know, you probably don't remember me. Hi! I'm Daniel, you
know the one who wrote that weird and slightly random column that discussed
box office and completely disconnected subjects? Well I'm back after being on
"hiatus" (That's Disney speak for "I really don't have an interesting reason,
but I'll make it sound that way") for a while. This is now B.O.R.E.D 2.0 as
it were, a bold new step in a forward direction. You might notice some
differences from the way things were before, but it's pretty much the same
thing. I report about box office, do some random musings on current trends
and its impact on societal culture, analyze films within inches of the readers
breaking point, I'm sure you've gotten the idea.
Last week saw the ending of the year 2004 and the beginning of 2005 (I know, a high-school diploma gives you a lot these days.) Well most people would take this opportunity to either point out the highlights of 2004 or promote the upcoming events of 2005. However, I have no desire to retread on this material. So instead I present to you a salute to . . .1987. Why 1987? It's the first year that popped into my head.
Sometimes you wonder if Disney goes a little overboard with all of the holiday stuff. Well it could be worse, a lot worse. Just picture these attractions:
Guests enter Santa's Workshop for a tour when an elf barges in an and tells Santa that he's way behind and there's no way everyone will get presents for Christmas. The only way to save the holiday is for you to get in a 'super stretch' sleigh and deliver presents to the needy kids of Beverly Hills. Buckle up because once Santa counts down his reindeer, it's 0-60 m.p.h of pure holiday excitement!
Join Jingle Jones as he tries to discover the true meaning of Christmas. Watch as he dodges later candy canes popping up from the ground, a huge vat of hot chocolate and giant rolling ball of stale fruitcake. Don't try this at home.