B.O.R.E.D.
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B.O.R.E.D.
Box Office Eloquently Reported by Daniel

Back and Better Than Ever. . . Well Hopefully
Well I'm back!  I know, you probably don't remember me.  Hi! I'm Daniel, you know the one who wrote that weird and slightly random column that discussed box office and completely disconnected subjects?  Well I'm back after being on "hiatus" (That's Disney speak for "I really don't have an interesting reason, but I'll make it sound that way") for a while.  This is now B.O.R.E.D 2.0 as it were, a bold new step in a forward direction.  You might notice some differences from the way things were before, but it's pretty much the same thing.  I report about box office, do some random musings on current trends and its impact on societal culture, analyze films within inches of the readers breaking point, I'm sure you've gotten the idea.

 

Well if you're still reading now, the above paragraph must not have scared you away.  Let's proceed:

 

A New Year
Last week saw the ending of the year 2004 and the beginning of 2005 (I know, a high-school diploma gives you a lot these days.)  Well most people would take this opportunity to either point out the highlights of 2004 or promote the upcoming events of 2005.  However, I have no desire to retread on this material.  So instead I present to you a salute to . . .1987.  Why 1987?  It's the first year that popped into my head.

 

1987 saw Disney reach #1 on the box office charts with Three Men and a Baby.  Ironically, the gross of that film would beat most of the films released last year by Disney (Ouch!).  Good Morning Vietnam also did rather well for the company, signaling a dramatic turn around from 1985 when the #1 film for Disney was an 101 Dalmatians re-issue, and 1986 when a Lady and the Tramp re-issue beat The Great Mouse Detective.

 

1987 also saw the dramatic change of If You Had Wings into . . If You Could Fly.  Sigh, if only there were internet discussion boards back then.  That year also brought about the Daredevil Circus Spectacular at EPCOT.  Wow, nothing says EPCOT and it's symbolism of the progress of man like a motorcycle on a tightrope.  In December 1987 Magic Journeys moved from EPCOT to the Magic Kingdom where it could freak out another generation of kids.

 

At Disneyland 1987 brought upon Star Tours, the last exciting attraction to be built in Disneyland's Tomorrowland.  One might wonder with the latest New Tomorrowland if the imagineers would have just kept the omnimover system, painted the vehicles gold and made the attraction about looking at a microscopic view of a "Hoth" snowflake.

 

1987 . . . it was a good year.  Aw, the memories.

 

Over-Holidayed?
Sometimes you wonder if Disney goes a little overboard with all of the holiday stuff.  Well it could be worse, a lot worse.  Just picture these attractions:

 

Rock ' n Roller Coaster Holiday
Guests enter Santa's Workshop for a tour when an elf barges in an and tells Santa that he's way behind and there's no way everyone will get presents for Christmas.  The only way to save the holiday is for you to get in a 'super stretch' sleigh and deliver presents to the needy kids of Beverly Hills.  Buckle up because once Santa counts down his reindeer, it's 0-60 m.p.h of pure holiday excitement!

 

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular!  Holiday!
Join Jingle Jones as he tries to discover the true meaning of Christmas.  Watch as he dodges later candy canes popping up from the ground, a huge vat of hot chocolate and giant rolling ball of stale fruitcake.  Don't try this at home.