DWTS Recap: America’s Choice/Trio Night!

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It was America’s Choice in the ballroom this week, and it was basically the same as not having any theme. It also started with no opening number. It’s going to be a great week! (Sarcasm) However, the show did start off crazy with the news that Tommy and Peta are safe. Come again?! Let’s get to the dances, as each couple had their America’s Choice/Waste of an idea dance, along with the trio dance.

Alfonso and Witney first danced a foxtrot, getting suggestions from people at a farmer’s market, because the best people to get opinions on ballroom choreography is definitely at a produce stand. Their dance was THEE definition of a classic and elegant ballroom routine, however, with a certain beauty to it. It, of course, made Len feel all tingly and Bruno compared it to a mixture between a bygone era and Justin Timberlake. Alright Bruno, calm yourself. Three 9s and a 10 from Bruno. Their trio included Lindsay and was a paso to “Turn Down for What,” the song of a generation. Unfortunately, that generation is my own. Woof. Anyway, the paso was one of the best paso’s ever and utilized that 3rd dancer perfectly. Witney has shined this season as a choreographer. Straight 10s from the judges (and a lot of comments from the judges such as “OOOO” or “AHHHH” and “WOOOO”).

Tommy and Peta opened the night with a waltz and Tommy is looking good! Very good when he was in hold. Overall, a sweet and classic dance. Carrie Ann applauded their less is more tactic and Len told him that he was his hero. They then went on to lock arms and skip their way to the closest medical marijuana facility. An 8 from Len and SEHVENs from the rest. Now, their trio dance, accompanied by Sharna was…somethin’. It was somethin’. As Tommy said when asked what he thought of the dance, “It was really hard.” I’ll leave it at that. Straight SEHVENs from the judges. By the way, your seat CAN be used a floatation device or eye shield from the atrocity of Chong Airlines.

Lea and Artem danced a samba, where, of course, there was conflict during the rehearsal package, but they once again loved each other. Can a DWTS pair end up in divorce? If so, this will be the first pair. They then went on to dance a solid, but forgettable dance that involved a tiger leotard. I feel like Artem’s has become more and more boring as the season’s progressed. Carrie Ann saw her confidence return, but she wants to see pep. I can teach her! I’m very good with the pep! Lea wants to inspire moms, which is what we all want in live, truly. Two 8s from Carrie Ann and Julianne and Two 9s from the judges. Their trio paso added Henry to mix and the results were great. She had an awkwardly choreographed solo at the beginning, but the dance quickly rose in quality with a strength and tightness growing as the dance kept going. Bruno noticed Lea had enough beef to last a lifetime and I’m done. Straight 9s from the panel.

Bethany and Derek had a very relationship themed waltz for their first dance because, you know…it’s Derek. The biggest thing from the dance, for me, was it ended with a super awkward and long hug. Carrie Ann said it was stunning and Len was transported to Austria…just not Vienna. Close enough! Straight 9s from the judges. Her trio, formed with Tony, was a tango that transported us to the newest Disney mountain…Chair Mountain. Its purpose is still yet to be determined. Her flicks are awful, but it was a nice tango. I don’t know, but something about her is forgettable for me. However, it’s not the same- wait a second…is that Samantha Harris in the audience?! #DWTSHistoryLesson. Anyway, Julianne proclaimed that she “freaking owned those guys.” Sure. Two 9s from Carrie Ann and Bruno and two 10s from the panel.

Sadie and Mark began the night with a competition style jive that was a very middle of the road performance. Her kicks weren’t to my level of expectation, but it was still solid. Adam and Eve is still their best dance. Carrie Ann did compliment Mark, which was a nice change of pace. Three 8s and a 9 from Len (Who is extra happy tonight! Probably all the weed he’s smoking with Tommy. Allegedly.). They were then joined by Emma for a spectacular and exquisite foxtrot. How Mark incorporated both girls, while still highlighting Sadie was rather incredible and I couldn’t stop watching. The story was easy to comprehend and very fun too. Len was up on his feet to express his love. The best part was Sadie crying as she reached the judges (and Sky Box) as she messed up the ending part where she then had to “make up her own little dance,” but the judges saw nothing as they received straights 10s!

Janel and Val danced a quickstep that was a little too quick for Val, as he has a small mess-up during the middle of the routine, but otherwise, it was beautifully choreographed, elegantly classic *cue Len shooting confetti out of his eyeball sockets* and ended with a kiss. If only Maks and Meryl still kissed on this show. Sigh. Carrie Ann loved her full body performance. (Especially the lips. HEY-OOO!) Two 9s from Carrie Ann and Bruno and two 10s from the judges. Her trio dance, aided by Keo, who annoys me for no reason whatsoever, was less than desirable. I found it incredibly boring and random (why not start with a step routine and chalk from just the guys?), but Julianne looked past its lack of content and loved it, while Carrie Ann called her a superstar. Three 10s and a 9 from Len.

Lea and Artem were announced as leaving us (can we switch them out for Keo?), which was super sad.

Thoughts? Let me know! You know the drill!

Marshal Knight
Marshal Knight is a pop culture writer based in Orlando, FL. For some inexplicable reason, his most recent birthday party was themed to daytime television. He’d like to thank Sandra Oh.