Dispatch From Disneyland - Apr 5, 2002

Dispatch From Disneyland
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by Indigo (archives)
April 5, 2002
This month's Dispatch comes to you from Frontierland.

Pirates of the Vacation

The question was, where to hide the treasure? Captain Kenny "One-Eye" Wallace and his first mate Gillian had debated the issue the whole trip. Now that they had reached the magical kingdom that was to be their Pirate hide-away, they had to make up their minds.

But first they had to decide how to convince Mom and Dad to let them run off alone to ride Pirates of the Caribbean. They figured their most opportune time was during lunch, which coincidentally was to be held in the Blue Bayou restaurant, a known entrance to the realm of the Pirates.

So Kenny and Gillian bided their time forced to enjoy horrible and quite un-fun attractions such as: Indiana Jones, The Matterhorn, Space Mountain, and other rides. It was a tough job, but someone had to do it.

Finally, the big moment came and they were seated at the river’s edge. The anticipation was almost too much to bear. (What? More beer? No. Nothing works.) Just beyond the restaurant railing they could make out the dark shapes of boats sliding by in the dark of the artificial evening. Why did those guests get to explore the caves and battles of the Pirate’s lair and they had to sit down and behave? Totally unfair, you know it.

Mom and Dad ordered them both to the restroom to clean up before the meal and to wipe those frowns of their faces. When Kenny and Gillian returned to the table their spirits were considerably lifted by the presence of huge Monte Cristo sandwiches for each of them.

Each amazing half was a double fisted deep-fried bonanza of turkey, ham, cheese, bread, and powdered sugar. Just biting into one was an adventure worth having. The next twenty minutes was spent face down ingesting the marvelous meal. If the adventurers had looked up they would have seen a calm serene smile slowly spread across their parent’s faces.

Eventually, the plates were licked clean and Kenny and Gillian’s eyes began straying back across the railing to the beckoning bayou. It was so dark and eerie over there. Who knew what danger lurked around that corner and perhaps Davy Jones’ locker waiting for those that don’t obey. Maybe even man-eating Squirrels ahead.

So it was with some surprise that Mom told them it was okay for them to run around and get on the attraction while they finished eating. A waitress was later heard remarking that she had never seen two young guests move as fast as Kenny and Gillian did. In fact, "One-Eye", as he insisted Gillian call him, ran so fast he totally missed the entrance to the attraction.

Gillian, on the other hand, was always better with maps, and waited for him somewhat impatiently, while he found his way to the entrance to the queue. The queue was thankfully short, and before they knew it they were seated in row one by a real pirate, er... pirate attired cast member.

•  •  •

There was nothing John enjoyed more at Disneyland, than sitting on the Disney Gallery balcony and looking out over the busy banks of the Rivers Of America. On a crowded day, such as this one during spring break, thousands of guests streamed by on their way to various parts of the park.

This family looked like they were making a bee-line for the honey-pots and log-rides of Splash Mountain. Even if they weren’t John thought a few moments in the Laughing Place could always do a rushed family good.

John spotted a group of older guests, perhaps moseying over to the Dixieland Jazz band currently cutting a rug on the French Market stage. Not a bad idea, thought John, listening to live jazz is always a nice way to spend a few minutes relaxing instead of running from spot to spot in the park.

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