Guest Relations - Sep 17, 1999

Guest Relations
Page 1 of 1

by Chris Reed (archives)
September 17, 1999
Can you feel the love tonight? Apparently Chris Reed can, and in the strangest of places.

Disneyland’s Singles Scene

There was something I noticed the other day in Disneyland, and it had to do with a mermaid and the King of the Jungle.

You would notice it to, on the outer reaches of Fantasyland and Adventureland.

In the waters between the entrance to Tomorrowland and Sleeping Beauty’s Castle is Ariel’s Grotto, home of the title character from The Little Mermaid. There, people line up for a chance to take a picture or get an autograph from the scantily clad Ariel.

Take a closer look at the line.

About 90 percent of those in line are men, with or without their kids. It gives the appearance of a little-known scene in The Little Mermaid, where Ariel accidentally swam into a football team’s locker room.

There is equal opportunity in Disneyland.

Under the recently opened Tarzan's Treehouse is a small enclosure, where Tarzan, wearing a loincloth and a Fabio wig, serves the same purpose Ariel does on the other side of the park.

Sure enough, the line to Tarzan is the mirror-opposite of the line at Ariel’ s Grotto. 90 percent women, with or without their kids.

No word on if the two attractions will be combined someday and be called, “Ariel and Tarzan’s Singles Bar.”

Wind, Wind Go Away: Growing up in Southern California, I have as much familiarity with hurricanes as people in Florida have with earthquakes.

While in Florida a few months back, I was taking a drive from Orlando to Cape Canaveral when I notice the “Hurricane Evacuation Route” signs. My fiancee and I laughed at them.

I’m not laughing now.

The meddling Floyd closed Walt Disney World. The Magic Kingdom ended up not getting hit hard, but the coast of Florida did. To them, the best of luck to rebuilding your own personal kingdoms.

But then, you at least get advance warning of hurricanes. Here in L.A., and earthquake can start at anytime, sending pieces of my roof upon my head.

Even if that happens, I will still finish this column. gfhzxcvjkl … Oops, a piece of roof just fell on my keyboards and typed that.

Something Disney Fans Would Like to See: The California Adventure.

Something Disney Fans Would Not Like to See: The California Earthquake.

Kanga Gives Her Kudos: Great to hear the news that Disney is putting up funds to restore the Poohsticks Bridge in the real home of Winnie the Pooh, Cotchford Farm in Hartfield, England.

Best of all, they’re keeping it in its natural state and not adding a flume ride.

What if It Was a Disney Movie: For Love of the Game would become For Love of Selling the Game.

Kevin Costner plays a baseball star, stand poised to pitch on the mound … only to find out that his game has been called off because Disney has sold his team. Costner’s character then moves on to his real dream job, as an engineer on the Disneyland Railroad.

Until next time … Remember that Tarzan and Ariel are taken and won’t go on a date with you.

Chris Reed, whose Disneyland attraction “Chris’ Grotto” was closed down after nobody lined up, is usually a sportswriter who can also be seen on the Internet at StreetZebra Online. Personal ads can’t be sent to [email protected] or entered below, because the guy is engaged.

Guest Relations is posted every Friday.

The opinions expressed by Chris Reed, and all of our columnists, do not necessarily represent the feelings of LaughingPlace.com or any of its employees or advertisers. All speculation and rumors about the future of Disneyland and the Walt Disney Company are just that - speculation and rumors - and should be treated as such