Guest Relations
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Travel Advice

Watch out, Florida.

No, not for yet another hurricane, but for hurricanes Doobie and Rebekah.

Yes, the folks who run this website are taking a vacation from Disneyland on the West Coast to take in Disney World on the East Coast.

If you happen to be in any of the four parks over the coming days, give them a wave. They’re the one confused over why Pirates of the Caribbean is in Adventureland and disappointed that Indiana Jones is just a stage show and not a ride.

Being a West Coaster myself who recently took a trip to Disney, Florida, I’d like to offer a few tips to the Moseley family, as well as to any regular Disneyland visitor taking in East Coast Disney.

1) Living in Southern California, you’re probably used to dry heat. Staying in Florida, you’ll feel like you’re in the world’s biggest sauna. They say Ponce de Leon discovered Florida while trying to find the Fountain of Youth. In reality, he was probably trying to find the off switch to some massive humidifier. Florida’s a beautiful state, but frankly, I don’t know how people there live in that humidity.

2) Make the Magic Kingdom the least of your priorities. For the most part, it’s pretty much a carbon copy of our Disneyland, with the exception of a much better Tomorrowland.

Give the bulk of your time to the things you can’t see back home, especially EPCOT.

There are subtle differences between the two parks. From my standpoint, Florida’s Magic Kingdom was much more spacious than California’s, with much more green space. Yet, the ride buildings seem just a little smaller. Especially eerie is seeing It’s a Small World with a façade not much bigger than Peter Pan’s Flight.

Still, the Florida Tomorrowland is much more impressive, and leaves you with the feeling that it was the way the redo of Disneyland’s land of the future should have been done. Count the biggest highlight as the Alien Encounter.

As far as I’m concerned, the ideal Magic Kingdom would be California’s Disneyland, with Florida’s Tomorrowland (except for California’s soundtracked Space Mountain) and without the humidity.

3) If there is one place you allot the most time to, it’s EPCOT, which in all reality could easily be two separate parks.

Futureworld is basically the world’s coolest science museum. However, the true highlight of EPCOT is the World Showcase. Jules Verne didn’t have it this good. In the span of a few hours, you can travel around the world.

Each “country” is absolutely authentic. I can vouch for this based on the United Kingdom portion area of the Showcase. I spent an entire summer in the U.K., and EPCOT’s version seemed like a carbon copy.

Except for that humidity, of course.

4) Rod Miller does not have an evil twin who hangs around the Coke Corner at Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. But then, I figure that if Rod Miller had an evil twin, he would be playing Marilyn Manson on his piano instead of ragtime.

5) Did I mention the humidity?

Automatic Pilot: Great stuff on the site in the past week on the end of the original Disneyland Autopia.

Let me give you one of my own memories of the driving that came before the driving license.

Whenever I was at Disneyland with my family, in the years just after I was tall enough to ride in my own car, I used to play a rather mean trick on my kid brother.

Each time, without fail, I would demonstrate my generosity by offering him a chance to get a “head start” by riding in the car in front of me. It took years before he caught on and realized that because of the single track, there never was actually a race and he would be in front for the entire ride.

Nonetheless, he also didn’t catch on to why I always allowed him to be in front, and it wasn’t good sportsmanship.

He would find out about halfway through, by the big thud. I always let him go first so I could bump him from behind.

Something Disney Fans Would Like to See: A direct to video sequel for Tarzan.

Something Disney Fans Would Not Like to See: A direct to video sequel for The Black Cauldron.

Going to off-season Hours: Starting this week, Guest Relations is switching to a bi-weekly schedule.

That means no column next week. Whether you like it or not.

Don’t worry, though. Light Magic won’t replace me in the off weeks My real work, if you can call it work, is beckoning me for more hours. Thanks to all who have sent their feedback, good or not. I hope I’ve provided an extra laugh or two to your trips to LaughingPlace.com.

What if It Was a Disney Movie: Blue Streak would have the same name, but a different plot. In the movie, the Smurfs would finally be captured by Gargamel and turned into Smurf Stew, giving Disney its final revenge over Hanna-Barbera.

Until next time … Did I mention the humidity?