B.O.R.E.D
Box Office Reported Eloquently by Daniel

Are You Hot? Fairy Tale Edition
I'm young, single and a huge fan of Disney. No this isn't the beginning of a personals ad, however since visiting the Art of Animation at Disney's California Adventure I've wondered. . .just which Disney girl would be right for me. I don't mean the Cast Members standing at the front door, I mean the animated kind. Yes, it's silly I suppose but considering I have a tendency to over analyze everything I might as well scrutinize the "perfect" Disney princesses.

Snow White: Snow White really seems sheltered, oh wait I guess that's because she is. Anyway, she appears to be the type that spends her days waiting around for a nice cushy job to fall in her lap. Not really my type. I'm not sure her security skills are up to snuff either. She probably would have 30 minute conversations with telemarketers and door-to-door salesman. However there are her good points, like her positive opinion about everyone. I also would never have to worry about cleaning my room. If she could overcome some of her immaturity then I would like her more.

Cinderella: While Cinderella was technically sheltered, I feel she could easily establish her way in the world. I don't fully understand why she let her stepmothers and stepsisters treat her so badly in the first place. At least I wouldn't have to worry about her being too strong minded. While Cinderella doesn't keep track of time well, neither do I so I can't really fault her on that. She did let herself fall in love with a man in just a few hours which I find a bit lacking in mental discipline. However, Cinderella definitely has more good points than bad points. She has a great wit, singing voice and a good sense of fashion (who knew servant's clothes could be so trendy?).

Aurora/Briar Rose/Sleeping Beauty: Can't you just pick a name already? Your mailbox must look like the marquee of a movie theater. Aurora is a somewhat hard character to judge, considering she spends a long time sleeping. What little is known is that she seems to be a pleasant enough girl, albeit a bit impassioned. But considering the kind of man she dreams about is Prince Phillip she does have good taste in men. More than you can say than most other princesses who fall in love based on looks alone. I respect Aurora, but from a distance.

Ariel: For me first impressions are very important, so when Ariel ditched that music concert I already had a bad opinion of her. This furthered when I found out she disobeyed her father out of rebellion instead of reason, even to the point of complete self-destruction. Why? Because she assumed that up on land she could do whatever she wanted to. "Betcha on land, they understand. Bet they don't reprimand their daughters." Well I've got news for you Ariel, we still believe in kids obeying their parents on land too. While I love your red hair, your personality needs a complete overhaul.

Belle: The social outcast, bookworm, self-motivated and unselfish. Belle is very attractive from the first moment she appears on the screen. She is a little too adventurous for my tastes, but I think that's partly because her town offers her no output for her artistic abilities. I doubt after the movie Belle would see fit to set off on more adventures. It's hard to find much to criticize on Belle, she's a good model for behavior and quite charming.

Jasmine: A little stuck-up and spoiled, but underneath the rough exterior lies an ok person. It's hard to blame Jasmine for being upset, as nobody would like to get forced into marriage. Running away was a silly answer to the problem though. Also, her outfit is a bit immodest for my tastes. I would have to get used to the tiger, but Rajah's tame and definitely a great security measure. Jasmine knows how to work the system and play all the angles, so I could imagine her helping me skyrocket to success. All in all though, just a little too. . .I don't know. . .too. . .generation X.

Pocahontas: A born leader and motivated strongly to do what's right. Pocahontas lives in harmony with nature in a way I never could begin to understand. I'm a city boy, so unless Pocahontas wants to help me beautify L.A then I guess that's the end of that.

Kida: Almost an exact clone of Pocahontas, but less calculated and more quick-acting. I don't think I ever would get used to the whole face paint thing, and then, of course, I hear the move to Atlantis is a major pain. Navigating past the Leviathan every time I want to visit would get irritating, as would the bad cell-phone reception down there. Again, if Kida wants to build a huge aquarium in L.A then I'm game, but otherwise it's just a bit too much of a lifestyle adjustment.

My closest match appears to be Belle, but the jury's still out on my perfect Disney mate. I'll keep looking. After all there are plenty of fish in the sea (I mean that figuratively speaking, I'm not interested in fish. Although Dory's kind of cute you know. . .)