B.O.R.E.D. - Jan 14, 2005

B.O.R.E.D.
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by Daniel Kaplan (archives)
January 14, 2005
This week Daniel disusses T.R.O.N. 2.0 and has the normal box office predictions.

B.O.R.E.D.
Box Office Eloquently Reported by Daniel

Sorry if this week's column is a little short, but I'm busy watching the U.S Nationals Figure Skating Championship. 

 
MCP = $$$?
It has been recently reported that Disney has greenlit a new version of the movie TRON.  There is some good news though, apparently this time there is going to be a story involved.  Ok, I'm kidding, but seriously does TRON really need to be remade?  One might wonder what kind of action sequences they have planned.  Here's some that I have thought of:
 
Instead of a dramatic end battle scene, the hero simply presses ok when prompted, "Are you sure you want to shut down?"
The hero encounters a problem that is only explained through cryptic white letters on a blue background
The hero daringly rescues a file that was sent to the "recycle bin"
The hero occasionally is smacked on the head by a "pop-up"
The hero saves an overpopulated sector by re-partioning the land
The hero discovers that all Internet discussion boards posters have doubles that base their existence purely on the postings of their user in the real world.  It's really strange when the hero finds an entire town of doubles from a user who posts on 5,000 discussion boards.
 
We'll see how many of those scenes end up in the movie.
 
In the meantime one might wonder how many films Disney will now get remade as it seems they are not basing this purely on whether the original was successful or not.  Could you imagine a Gus remake?  How about Black Hole, Condorman or Child of Glass?
 
On a completely unrelated note, it's a little annoying to see season 4 of 24 already having a  "cougar" moment.  I mean, why on earth would you take off the ski mask??
 
Classic Quote of the Week: "It's not so much the heat, it's the humidity that'll kill you." Irv from Cool Runnings
Tragic Quote of the Week: "No, he's a pirate." Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
 
This Weekend
With Racing Stripes coming out in theaters, one remembers those wonderful Disney animal films that would premiere weekly on the Wonderful World of Disney.  After all, who can forget "Archibald the Highly Depressed Aardvark" or "Shawn the Shifty Two-Toed Sloth"?  Anyway, Racing Stripes may not appear to be a big money contender, but I have two words for you - Kangaroo Jack.  That movie shocked just about everyone when it brought in around $67 million.  I honestly think there's even more appeal to this movie and it should have a much stronger opening weekend.
 
The other openers, Elektra, Coach Carter and In Good Company all seem to be bland additions to their genre.  Not much excitement seems to be building around them.
 
#1   Elektra $25 million
#2   Meet the Fockers $24.7 million
#3   Racing Stripes $19.5 million
#4   Coach Carter $15.1 million
#5   White Noise $14.4 million
#6   In Good Company $8.2 million
#7   Aviator $6.5 million
#8   Series of Unfortunate Events $5.2 million
#9   Fat Albert $3.8 million
#10 Phantom of the Opera $3.8 million
 
Last weekend accuracy: 79.75%, not bad considering White Noise completely blew away my expectations and I was stupid not to see that Polar Express when removed from the holiday season would dramatically drop.
 
If it were a Disney film . . .Racing Stripes would be about an overlay to the Tomorrowland Indy Speedway that would turn it into Tigger's Tire Terrors, an exciting racing attraction.
 

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-- Doobie Moseley

New Disney 101 is not posted on a regular schedule.

-- Posted January 14, 2005