Guest Relations - Sep 10, 1999

Guest Relations
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by Chris Reed (archives)
September 10, 1999
Use the new ChrisPass and wait only 10 minutes for the Monorail. Mr. Reed will explain.

Passing on the Line By Chris Reed

A popular slogan used in advertising is to tell people that something will "change the way" they do something. Most of the time, it really doesn't.

If that slogan was used for the new FastPass system at the Disney theme parks, it would be truth in advertising. FastPass is really changing the way we wait in line at Disneyland and Walt Disney World.

FastPass is one of those ideas that everybody came up with at one time or another. Who hasn't stood in the 90-minute line for Splash Mountain, coming up with a way where there would be a special line where you could get on right away.

This seemed especially intriguing for repeat visitors and annual passers. Yet, as great as FastPass will be for the parks, the only people who may not benefit in the end are the annual passholders.

For the most part, weekday visits for annual passholders don't start until sometime after 5 p.m. Unfortunately, you have to work in the real world.

The FastPass doesn't provide any benefit for these visitors. During the Space Mountain test last month at Disneyland, visitors entering the park later in the day found out that all the FastPasses were "sold out" by the late afternoon. The long line still awaited.

Don't get me wrong. FastPass will be more a blessing than a curse. The only way it could be greater is if they brought it to the DMV.

Still, new visitors may miss out in the theming that comes with waiting in line, while regular visitors will still have to wait in line.

I'll get over it when I get on Splash Mountain in 10 minutes.

Off Track: For one of the few times since the debut of the Mark I, the monorail tracks of Disneyland will be bare for an extended period of time.

They will stay empty until next spring, as construction continues on Disney's California Adventure.

The Monorail is probably on the bottom of the list when it comes to reasons why people visit the Magic Kingdom. Yet, the child in me will miss it while it's away.

When I was young, I considered the Monorail a ride ... as much as Space Mountain or Mr. Toad.

I'm sure my parents thought something was wrong when I wanted to go on the Monorail all the time, but it was an E-ticket to me .

With its sleek lines and "whirl" sound, the Monorail seemed more tomorrow than Tomorrowland did. It still seems more tomorrow than the Rocket Rods do.

Everything was new when you were a kid, and a train that moved above you on one rail was as new as it could get. It was as much a ride as the Disneyland Railroad, despite the lack of a Grand Canyon and dinosaurs.

I'm a grown up now, and I realize the FastPass won't be coming to the Monorail anytime soon. But I still enjoy the ride.

Something Disney Fans Would Like to See: Dinosaur next summer. The trailer is simply stunning. With Fantasia 2000 also bowing next year, it's shaping up to be a groundbreaking start to the new millennium.

Something Disney Fans Would Not Like to See: Jeff Goldblum and Sir Richard Attenborough show up in the movie.

Hooked: There's talk that Disney is working on an animated sequel to Peter Pan.

I figure they could have Peter all grown up and voiced by Robin Williams, facing off against a Captain Hook played by Dustin Hoffman. You can add Julia Roberts to the mix as well.

What if It Was a Disney Movie: Love Stinks would become "Love Sings." Tyra Banks would be replaced by Celine Dion. Teenagers full of hormones would have to find a different movie to see or just buy the swimsuit issue in January.

Until next time ... My heart will go on.

Chris Reed, who is just mad that they didn't introduce a "ChrisPass," is usually a sportswriter whose column "Extra Points" can now be seen on the Internet at StreetZebra Online. Your e-mail will get a FastPass to Chris if you send it to [email protected] or enter it below.

Guest Relations is posted every Friday.

The opinions expressed by Chris Reed, and all of our columnists, do not necessarily represent the feelings of LaughingPlace.com or any of its employees or advertisers. All speculation and rumors about the future of Disneyland and the Walt Disney Company are just that - speculation and rumors - and should be treated as such