B.O.R.E.D. - Feb 13, 2004

B.O.R.E.D.
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by Daniel Kaplan (archives)
February 13, 2004
This week Daniel goes random.

B.O.R.E.D
Box Office Reported Eloquently by Daniel

The following are random bits of randomness that are arranged in a random pattern. Any attempt to make sense of this random pattern may result in random bits of confusion. You have been warned. . .randomly:

Lion King 1 1/2: Good movie. Great movie. See it. It's good. The best Direct-To-Video sequel that's ever. . .well I guess that's not saying much, but trust me it's better than that. Watch it. You'll like it. You'll see. Peace.

Comcast Might Buy Disney: I find this whole situation scary mostly because I have no idea what would happen if the deal goes through. So I'll spare you the silly comments. 'K?

Ice Station Cool: Don't ever miss it. Kinley Lemon. Mmmmmm. Beverly. Baaaaaad. You have been warned.

People's Shirts at Theme Parks: I don't know about you but if I ever see shirts with: "I can only please one person a day. Today's not looking good, tomorrow's not either." "FCUK" "SpongeBob ___________Pants" "Got ________?" "How to. . ." "Alcatraz Swimming Team" Any blurry pattern on them again I think I will just about lose it (and I don't have much to begin with, trust me). C'mon people, is it really hard to pick T-shirts that aren't worn by everybody else? Why don't you just try a nice solid color with no writing on it for starters. Than after a while you can learn how to mix it up with some contrasting colors. Finally we'll work on putting a whole ensemble together. In just a few weeks you might be able to dress yourself up by yourself! YAY!

Illuminations: Reflections of Earth: Good music. Great music. Listen to it.

Luck, or Just a Misnomer: Disney continually refers to Lucky the Dinosaur as the latest piece of Imagineering technology. Well I've seen it and I have to say it was quite impressive. In fact I was so impressed I can't believe it's been stuck in a warehouse for so long. There's only one explanation and one solution to this problem. I hearby decree that Disney never name anything Lucky anymore. It's a curse I tell you. First the Lucky Fortune Cookery, then Lucky the Dinosaur, if they ever built Mickey's Lucky Theme Park or something it could be the end of the whole company. Leave the Lucky to Lucky Charms and just rename him. . .I don't know. . Bob or something.

Classic Quote of the Week: "Everything the light touches. . .belongs to somebody else." Timon's Mom in The Lion King 1 1/2 Tragic Quote of the Week: "I thought beans were the only musical food." Banzai from The Lion King 1 1/2

This Weekend (4 Day Weekend):
'Tis holiday weekend now and so you know what that means. . .A really big and annoying Adam Sandler release! 50 First Dates from Sony promises everything you would expect from an Adam Sandler film (namely unfunny jokes, repeating tired gags and. ..oh I'm sorry I'm feeling a bit snarky today!) including a huge marketing push and wide release. With no other wide release this film and audience appeal, 50 First Dates should scrounge up $47 million this weekend.

Miracle isn't going anywhere. With no competition for it's family market and strong word of mouth, watch for Miracle to fall just 15% to collect $16.5 million.

Barbershop 2 will feel the pressure from 50 First Dates, but should be able to still manage a nice drop off. Watch for Barbershop 2 to slip just about 34% to $15.8 million

Along Came Polly will fall around 25% to $5.1 million. Butterfly Effect will fall about 22% to $5.1 million

After it's large fall of 53% last weekend, You Got Served should be able to rebound and only fall about 34% to add $4.9 miillion to it's overall gross. Catch That Kid should be play well over the holidays and only slip about 20% to $4.6 million.

Return of the King will only fall a tiny 1% to about $4.2 million.

Mystic River and Monster will equal their last weekend grosses of $3.6 million and $3.5 million respectively.

If it were a Disney film . . .50 First Dates would be a Disney Channel original movie about how a kid learns if he ever has 51 dates with one girl, he'll turn into a werewolf. Of course he quickly falls in love with a girl and has 50 dates with her and then doesn't know what to do. Luckily, the spell can be lifted he travels to wolf land and battles the evil Emperor Dzhogowse.

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-- Daniel Kaplan
-- Posted February 13, 2004