The Humor Mill

In the news. . . 

In a story that almost borders on self-parody, Disney has apparently greenlit a production of Snow White and Seven Kung Fu Monks.  A martial arts epic of Snow White seems rather odd, but then again it could have been a remake of Dumbo or Bambi.  I just hope the film includes a scene where the Prince has to use a karate chop to dislodge the piece of apple in Snow White's throat.  Or wouldn't the witch's transformation be a lot more impressive with wire-work and Matrix-esque effects?

 

Liam Neeson has been announced as the voice of Aslan in the upcoming film The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.  The problem is now Aslan will be spending most of the movies taking blood samples to determine how many midichlorians the characters have.

 

It's been reported that wood eating beetles have infested the Hong Kong Disneyland Hotel.  Thankfully the beetles seem to have a fondness for the left legs of the beds, so everything is mostly okay as long as the guests don't mind sleeping titled.  And on a completely unrelated note, there is reportedly a shortage of aerosol cans in the Hong Kong area.

 

The List
(well, it's a bit of stretch to actually call it a list this week, but it's the closest category I had)

 

In case you haven't heard, been living under a rock, or have stumbled upon the wrong website, Disneyland celebrated it's 50th anniversary last Sunday.  Many people are going to offer their own tributes and such, so I have decided to do something a little different.

 

And now Daniel Kaplan presents the first 25 years of Disneyland. . .in haiku:

 

1954
ABC will pay costs
Herb's fast painting convinced them
Roy's deeply worried

 

1955
One year and park complete
Concrete not dry for high heels
For Walt "Black Sunday"

 

1956
Catfish cove fishing
Buckets dangle from above
Models replace mud

 

1957
Pyro lights up sky
Castle opens doors for guests
An all-plastic house

 

1958
Columbia sails
Stuffed canyon critters display
Caterpillars creep

 

1959
One rail trains circle park
Liquid space exploration
Holey Swiss mountain