The Humor Mill - Jul 29, 2005

The Humor Mill
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by Daniel Kaplan (archives)
July 29, 2005
Daniel completes his Disneyland Haiku and looks to this weekend at the box office.

The Humor Mill

Let's start off this week with a continuation of the Disneyland haiku from last week:

 
1981
Reunion parade
Danny Kaye hosts TV show
Goofy boogies
 
1982
No more ticket books
Tron's game grid opens for guests
Coke rules the kingdom
 
1983
New Fantasyland
Monstro lurches out at guests
Dark rides are longer
 
1984
Country Bears Christmas
Kids imagine in 3-D
Lincoln gets smoother
 
1985
Subs are now yellow
Trips thru a snowflake no more
A dance club in park
 
1986
"Bang!" goes the cannon
A man is shot down Main Street
A net stops his fall
 
1987
State Fair pig races
Rex's first flight proves thrilling
Gallery shows art
 
1988
A blast to the past
A parade of memories
Oldies, hula hoops
 
1989
At Chickapin Hill
Falls lead to the Briar Patch
It's a laughing place
 
1990
35 years now
Giant balloons in parade
Carnival party
 
1991
Disney afternoon
Guests race with Chip and Dale
Or cruise Gummi Glen
 
1992
A beast becomes prince
Dragon sets river on fire
Mickey says, "Some mind huh?"
 
1993
Toontown's full of fun
Mickey films in movie barn
A Goofy bounce house
 
1994
Benny's tires get dipped
Circle of life connects all
Acrobats climb poles
 
1995
An eerie temple
Holds treasures, but a warning
"Don't look at its eyes"
 
1996
Theater in the round
Goofy statue starts era
Mickey pulls the plug
 
1997
Light Magic lays egg
Holiday Small World lights up
Pirates chase for food
 
1998
New Tomorrowland
Rocket rods speed up, slow down
Speed up and slow down
 
1999
Treehouse Swiss no more
Tarzan yells from atop home
Lost elephant squirts
 
2000
FastPass spreads like weeds
Pin trading lanyards are worn
Guests drive Suzy cars
 
2001
Next door a new park
Downtown Disney adds shopping
Huge parking structure
 
2002
A detective school
Not nearly as high budget
But do guests notice?
 
2003
Disneyland coasts through
Another year without change
But is change needed?
 
2004
Park is getting paint
The carousel gets replaced
Maintenance is back up
 
2005
It's been 50 years
Everything's gold painted
E-tickets light sky
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