By the grace of the Idol gods (Fantasia Barrino), we have finally made it to Hollywood Week. This staged karaoke hellscape/boot camp is where dreams go to die and bad decisions are made in ample supply. Favorites become forgotten and newcomers become stars. I’m beyond grateful we are out of the insufferable audition rounds, which made me continuously angry. Here’s to being able to connect with the contestants more and (fingers crossed) not have to worry about as much judge tomfoolery.* Will we be able to already scope out our next American Idol?
Before anything, let’s discuss the uncanny valley nature of a COVID-19 Hollywood Week and the inconsistent mask wearing throughout the episode. I don’t know the proper testing protocols, but I already feel like it wasn’t enough.
This Hollywood Week will comprise of 2 rounds: A genre challenge (contestants will choose one of 6 genres, perform a song, and there is no limit to eliminations) and a duet challenge. Bobby Bones is here to be a mentor and, I kid you not, life coach. He gives off “I really want us at work to be a family!” vibes that are toxic and vile. Bobby is having one-on-one conversations with contestants in the screen-hub-of-fear and it adds to the cringe.
Pop is up first and within 10 minutes, we have three moving forward and a bucket of individuals cut. Did I expect them to be this cutthroat already? No, and yet, I’m thrilled. Liahona steals the show with her powerful and super fun Meghan Trainor cover. Even though a couple notes were flat, it still showed a strong presence that’s needed for the competition and I’m looking forward to seeing more of her and hearing less flat notes. Her brother, however, gets cut. There are tears but (whispers) that’s the right decision. He isn’t as strong as his sister, nor as strong as many contestants in the competition. Yet, this show is moving at triple speed and I have no time to worry about anyone. Sorry Ammon, but (in Michelle Collins voice) me gotta go!
The Country group follows it up with a bucket of boring performances, until Mason Picks’ comes out with a gorgeous clarity that has me ready to buy a record. The country group as a whole seems to be auditioning to perform at the Grand Ole Opry in 1964, which is not commercial, nor the state of the genre right now. Mason brings a sound that is different and can have wide cross-genre appeal, which excites me. Cecil Ray has issues singing with the live band and, to my ear, issues singing in general. His voice is juvenile and nasally and is meant for a local bar and not American Idol. Yes, I am mean. No, I do not care.
After these two groups, we are shown performances from stand-outs, but they aren’t on stage for the cuts. Have they moved on? Have they been cut? Did Bobby Bones suck out their youth and leave their corpses on Hollywood Blvd? Who knows.
We are introduced to the Soul genre next and Xavier Washington is incredibly present, and I mean that in the best way. His riffs are not forced, while his authenticity is backed up with talent. I am in love. LOVE! That falsetto? Oh, honey! Grace Kinstler is equally present, with a power and emotion in her voice that never comes across as a gimmick. Soul is where the talent is at, folks.
What’s most visible are the contestants that were given golden tickets who actually are not good, but moved on due to their sob stories. DJ Johnson is one of them, as her talent just does not stack up against the others in her group. She is sent packing and further proves that many golden ticket holders shouldn’t have received them in the first place. They should’ve been given wonderfully constructive criticism instead.
Indie-Folk is up and Christina Daugherty’s journey to the Hollywood stage started when her students forced her to audition. Once she begins to pluck the guitar and let her voice shine, it brings up memories of Crystal Bowersox and Haley Reinhart, with the mixture being wonderful on the ears. She moves on, along with Hunter Metts, whose sister quit working for Disney to allow him to audition. His voice was better than I last remembered it. He’s also cuter than I remembered? What? This is crazy, stop! (tucks my hair behind my ear)
We have journeyed back to the Pop genre (The arrangement of this episode is giving me whiplash) and this line seems to be a bucket of try-hards. Katy described one contestant as “quirky” and Lionel basically looked at her and said “But, like, you gotta be good, too?” Erika Perry is back, our favorite overly-affected singer, and she immediately curses and asks to start over. She continues to sing in cursive. Not until the last line did I understand she was singing Phil Collins. She questions the judges. She asks to speak to a manager. The entitlement is otherworldly. Luckily, she’s gone. Shouldn’t have made it to Hollywood in the first place, but I digress.
Another Country group takes the stage as Kacey Musgraves plays in the background. As Kacey’s biggest fan, I did tone out to just listen to “Butterflies,” so sorry to anyone affected. Christian McGuckian had a shaky audition and started off her Hollywood performance even shakier. She chose to sing acapella, as she isn’t good with timing. While the judges do have to help her restart within the song, the power behind her vocals on the chorus was surprising and enjoyable. Who knew?!
Chayce Beckham follows her with another full three-minute life story montage (I thought we were done with these?!) with his signature grit and dark country voice. It’s very good and is a niche within the genre we haven’t seen in quite a while. Chayce moves on (!), while Christian is sent home. If she takes a year of singing lessons, I can see her returning and having a longer Idol journey.
For this Pop group, we see some more individuals who need more experience. Their voices have so much potential (Mary Jo Young, especially), but need the time to work on understanding how to use them. The big “star” of the group is Claudia Conway. Kellyanne is present at the Dolby Theatre. I-
Claudia comes in with much more confidence than her audition, but another bad song choice. She tries to utilize a lower register that doesn’t suit her. She makes it through, mostly for the name recognition, but she needs to make some better choices and fast.
During the next Indie-Folk group, someone sang a song badly whilst barely playing the accordion. That’s all you need to know. Philip Murphy quickly follows up with a simply-simple performance on the guitar that made me want to road trip across the country. The judges, bizarrely, are still not connecting with him (…but they can connect with Claudia?). Thank the heavens, he moves on to sing another day…along with accordion girl.
With 15 minutes left in the episode, we are introduced into the first Rock group and BEANE IS BACK. I love Beane. I am going to date Beane. I am going to always listen to Beane. He sings “Bennie and the Jets” and all three judges are up on their feet. I love Beane, y’all. Be sure to check out his original “We’re Alright,” which I came across after obsessing over his audition. I’m a BEANE BRO!
Casey Bishop also shines with her voice way ahead of her time. My sincerest apologies to her, as I am so excited to see her slay this competition, but I am team Beane. Beane is bae.
Willie Spence receives production’s “Look at this contestant!!!” spot to end the episode. I preferred his audition, but he’s undeniably good. This performance was just…rougher around the edges. I’m still happy to see him move on.
Tomorrow night, we tackle duets. Will they be good? Will they be bad? Based on the twist of forced pairings via the judges’ choices…probably bad. Get ready. See you tomorrow.
*I’m not discussing the judges singing The Beatles. I am ignoring it. Thank you.