TV Recap: “The Santa Clauses” – “Chapter 4: The Shoes Off the Bed Clause”

This show is wackadoo. My assumptions were correct about Simon, as this episode follows his scary and demented take over of the North Pole. While Scott and the rest of the Calvin family begin their assimilation back into normal society, Simon is ruining everything.

Simon’s arc has been quite odd, no? From the start, we have seen him as a sympathetic figure, even though he has been making mistake after mistake. With every misstep he’s taken with his company or his parenting, the show has been presenting him as a figure that can be forgiven. But like…why? He’s bad news. He’s not a good father, he’s not a good businessman, he’s just not good? Not to sound like a broken record, but he’s absolutely an Elon Musk stand-in.

His big ideas include delivering Christmas everyday of the year (HUH?) and over-exerting his elves to take out the tradition out of the holiday. The anticipation is key, so turning the holiday into a 24/7 business opportunity is a disgusting decision. It’s one click away from being a Fyre Fest conundrum.

Meanwhile, the Calvin family is doing their darndest to become the elusive idea of “normal.” Other than a clinically insane coffee order from Scott in the beginning of the episode (I assume he’s landed on a barista watch list), they are doing a pretty solid job of it. Carol is back leading a charter school, Cal is starting to flirt, and Sandra has found her crowd of horse girls [shudders].

Scott is, understandably, having trouble. When your entire personality is being Santa Clause, how do you go back to normalcy? Heck, Pope Benedict wanted just that and he’s still stuck at The Vatican. It’s an impossible feat. Noel heads to Scott’s in the hopes to bring him back home, but is shocked to find he’s taken a job as an Everything Now delivery driver. The man has experience in toy development and marketing, couldn’t his resume help him out?

Betty is just as disgusted as Noel, but is hoping to take the higher ground. She’s Head Elf, so she still hopes to put her trust in the man with the red coat. However…he lost the coat. And he’s being rude to her. And elves are now disappearing into dust because the spirit of Christmas is all but gone around the world. So yeah…Betty isn’t playing games anymore. She heads to La Befana’s cottage to talk to “him.” This “him” pauses the Calvin Family and places an ominous hand on Scott’s shoulder as the episode stops. I was not expecting a horror movie cliffhanger on this show!

Fireside Chat

  • Cal is the most wholesome human to ever grace Disney+. What a sweet and kind bean!
  • What ever happened to liking villains? “Loving to hate” is a concept that barely exists anymore and Simon is proof. He’s just so annoying! I don’t enjoy any part about him! Is there a surprise volcano he can fall into?
  • On a scale of 1-10, how annoyingly on-the-nose is the name Everything Now? Let me be clear, this is not a knock to the writers (as Simon would most definitely name his company something this stupid), but would you buy something from a company this ridiculously named?

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Marshal Knight
Marshal Knight is a pop culture writer based in Orlando, FL. For some inexplicable reason, his most recent birthday party was themed to daytime television. He’d like to thank Sandra Oh.