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Best Touchstone Movie
Nominees: The Insider, The Other Sister, Runaway Bride

And the All-Disney Oscar Goes to: The Insider
With its controversial subject matter, The Insider could have easily been too preachy. Thanks to Michael Mann's brilliant direction (long way from Miami Vice) and the best acting of the year by Crowe, Insider proved to be one of the more riveting movies of the past year.
It was this generation's All the President's Men. Not one car chase, explosion or Kevin Bacon, yet still riveting.

Worst Touchstone Movie
Nominees: Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo, Mumford, Play it to the Bone

And the All-Disney Oscar Goes to: Play it to the Bone
Not only the worst movie of last year. Possibly the worst movie to ever come out of Touchstone.
As dull as a five-hour drive to Vegas, because all it really has in plot is a five-hour drive to Vegas. The film was put together in only six months, and it shows. Amazing it came from Ron Shelton, who's done much better with the sport genre (Bull Durham, White Men Can't Jump, and Tin Cup). It was like watching Disney animators draw stick figures.

Best Hollywood Movie
Nominees: I'll Take You There, Mystery, Alaska, The Sixth Sense

And the All-Disney Oscar Goes to: The Sixth Sense
If anybody tells you that they saw the ending coming, they're lying.
By far the most original movie of last year - which means it will spurn a million copies - Sense redefined the ghost movie. Some directors might have opted to hire a big special effects house and hired an all-teen Scream cast to draw in viewers. The fact that M. Night Shyamalan didn't and left it all to the imagination made this movie all the more special.

Worst Hollywood Movie
Nominees: None.

Hey! The Hollywood Pictures arm just doesn't make many movies.

Best Miramax Movie
Nominees: The Cider House Rules, The Talented Mr. Ripley, She's All That

And the All-Disney Oscar Goes to: The Cider House Rules
The title says it all.
Actually, the title may have turned away many who thought they would be going to see a movie about how apple cider is made. We had elementary school rainy day slide shows for that.

Worst Miramax Movie
Nominees: Music of the Heart, Scream 3, Teaching Mrs. Tingle

And the All-Disney Oscar Goes to: Scream 3
It's time to give this whole Scream clone phenomenon a funeral.
When it came out, Scream seemed groundbreaking. After hundreds of clones, two sequels and most of the programming on the WB, it all seems tiring.
Make another Scream, and I'll scream!

Best Movie That Disney Didn't Want You to Know They Made
Nominee and Winner: Dogma

Even though Disney and Miramax released the film through a phantom Lion's Gate label, protesters still lined up in front of Disneyland, demanding that the film be pulled from release because it mocked Catholicism.
It would be nice if people saw a movie before criticizing it. Dogma, in actuality, is actually a pro-Catholic and pro-religion movie. In fact, it is the first piece of entertainment in memory that made believing in God "cool." And not just because God was played by Alanis Morrissette. Its director, Kevin Smith, is also a devout Catholic.
Go figure. Those who weren't scared off by blasphemous rumors were treated to a funny movie that made you think. Unfortunately, the protesters don't know the meaning of "think."

Worst Overall Disney Movie
Nominees: Inspector Gadget, Play It to the Bone, Scream 3

And the All-Disney Oscar Goes to: Play it to the Bone
You know how they say, "Don't go to the theater, rent it on videotape later?" This is one that shouldn't even be rented.

Best Overall Disney Movie
Nominees: The Insider, The Sixth Sense, Toy Story 2

And the All-Disney Oscar Goes to: Toy Story 2
Take away the "gee-whiz" of the computer animation and rank the laughs and feeling you got coming out with Toy Story 2 with the feelings you got out of Beauty and the Beast, Pinocchio, and Snow White. Similar, aren't they? Proof enough that Toy Story 2 belongs with those other two among the top animated movies Disney has ever produced.

Until next time ... The balcony is closed.

The opinions expressed by Chris Reed, and all of our columnists, do not necessarily represent the feelings of LaughingPlace.com or any of its employees or advertisers. All speculation and rumors about the future of Disneyland and the Walt Disney Company are just that - speculation and rumors - and should be treated as such.

-- Posted March 20, 2000