Please take out a single sheet of lined paper, title it “Diary of a Future President – Episode 3”, today’s date, and your name. Your recap time begins…now!

Elena’s friend is dedicated to her advice column in the school newspaper, which brings up the conversation about having a raison d’etre, or reason to be. When Elena is told her “raison” is school, she is discouraged. How can it be school? That’s so boring! And nerdy! And nerdy-boring! If the Brits’ raison is being too cool for everything (I would’ve tried to be their friend) and the dynamic duo featuring Elena’s ex-bestie’s raison is ribbon dancing (which should immediately disqualify them from being popular), why can’t Elena’s be fun?

So, Elena sets off to find her raison. She stumbles upon her teacher pitching Hurricane Watch Captain, and for some reason, Elena jumps at the chance. She isn’t big into meteorology, yet, she’s desperate. Her teacher is also giving major Ms. Grotke energy and I live. After the football jock also throws in hand in the race, Elena and him have to “compete” in a stump speech competition before the XYLOPHONE ASSEMBLY.

XYLOPHONE.

ASSEMBLY.

Meanwhile, Gabby and Sam are planning on a true dinner date night at a restaurant deemed to have the most extensive menu in all of South Florida and Sam seems like someone who would ask for a plate, like the one my friend made for himself at a restaurant the other day…

A plate of food

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A plate of food

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Gabby can’t find her black bra and walks in on a Bobby and his friends using it to discuss how to properly grab a girl’s boobs. These are all things that actually happened this week. Gabby bails on dinner, as she has to give Bobby part 4 of an 8-part sex talk. My confusion over who this show is for grows.

Eventually, Sam and Gabby go out, but in tow is Bobby’s new (surprise!) girlfriend Monyca, Bobby, and Elena. Sam and Gabby have a talk about the importance of her kids and how he’s not sure he can handle being interrupted by them all the time. Elena loses the Hurricane Watch Captain role to Jocky McJockerton, ‘cause sure, but later realizes she has to have organic passion to find her raison. This leads to her taking over the morning announcements.

Oh, and there was no mention of the eventual presidency, but we did find out Miami 2nd base equals Tampa 1st.

TIME. Did you complete the recap in the allotted time? I hope you did. Keep those pencils sharpened for episode 4!

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