Too Much Happens While Beta Goes Missing On A Full 22 Minute Episode

Hailey’s On It! Usually features two 11-minute stories to make a full episode. Usually. This episode does not, so it was safe to expect a lot to happen in one full 22 minute meaty-story-harvest in this week’s episode.

U.F. Whoa

At the Denoga restaurant, U.F. Dough, Hailey is scribbling new logo designs that she wants to put on the back of her list. After all, if it’s her list, she should emblazon it somehow. Especially if it is to become the most important document in the world. Beta advises against not only this, but the idea of keeping the list out in public. After all, if a Chaos Bot got a hold of it…well we saw that in the pilot episode. I mean, um er, we’ve seen that before, as the world flashed into a nightmare as she tried to erase a certain item off her list.

Kristine shows up and explains to Scott that she has the opportunity to audition for a new reality show, The Hat House, and needs his help making the audition video, but Kristine also sees the list that Hailey and Scott are always talking about and wants to take a look at it herself. Conveniently, she flips right to the most important list item in the series, “Kiss Scott Denoga.” However, before she gets to fully see the list item, she sees only “Kiss S…..” and demands to know who this mystery guy is in a bit of playful banter. Scott is curious too. How can his best friend not explain this mystery guy (who is revealed to be the very fictitious Sanjay Singh) is to him? Together, they want to help her get this list item out of the way.

After Kristine leaves, Scott wants to see this item on her list and a tussle over the notebook becomes a mess when a slushie is spilled all over it. As such, everything begins to shake and outside in the night sky, a tear opens up as a chaos bot comes through in full view of the public, many of whom catch the event on camera as it becomes a topic on that evening’s edition of the local news. For the broadcast, Scott’s mom is interviewed, and she essentially invites everyone to come look for U.F.O.s at U.F. Dough, and the restaurant is soon populated with “paranormies,” U.F.O. enthusiasts who are constantly looking for proof of their existence.

One of those Paranormies is Lazlo (who fans might recognize as Jack McBrayer in a guest role), who with his pet iguana is out to prove aliens exist since he was once abducted by an alien leader, Newborb, who he danced all night to disco music with before waking up in the same parking lot he was abducted from as though nothing happened. All because NOPE (National Organization for Paranormal Extraterrestrials) is hiding all the truth at their facility, Area 37.  

Lazlo explains that the Paranormies have come to Oceanside to get the alien (chaos bot) to share it with the world before NOPE gets the chance to hide it. So now, Hailey has to not only find the bot for herself, but needs to find it before the Paranormies and NOPE as well. She has a plan though, even though Beta is fully against it – set out her list as bait to attract the chaos bot and destroy it. A big risk because if the chaos bot actually got its claws on the list, the world as they know it would be destroyed.

Meanwhile, with all this going on, Scott has become too busy to help Kristine with her video, so she enlists a different guy to help her with her audition, and flaunts him in front of Scott to make him jealous. Too bad Scott is completely oblivious, even saying how glad she is that she found another guy to help her.

Scott and Hailey head into the woods looking for the chaos bot, and again Hailey and Beta argue over whether or not to use the list as bait. Scott actually has a decent idea – whenever Hailey tries to complete a list item, the bots show up. So why don’t the find an easy one that they can do now to lure it in. The easiest one now would likely be to “Kiss Scott Denoga” so use the list as bait it is, much to Beta’s chagrin.

Sure enough, the plan works, except for one little thing they forgot. This chaos bot has the capability of flight, and easily snatches the list despite their trap and takes off. Beta leaps and jumps for it and easily shoots it out of the sky, leaving a trail of chaos bot debris while he superhero lands in the middle of his victory. Just then, NOPE arrives and scoops up all the debris, including Beta who fell limp to disguise himself, carting them off the mysterious Area 37. Hailey and Scott are now panicked and this seems like the perfect time for an Ad Break.

It seems likely that Beta has been taken to Area 37, but just as Kristine is once again calling Scott, the Professor returns for the first time after a few episodes and shows up with Omega. A replacement for Beta. After all, Beta has been compromised and his memory will be wiped as soon as his battery dies. However, now that the professor is gone, the plan is hatched to break into Area 37 to rescue Beta, now with the help of the far more advanced (and flying) Omega. Together, they all work with the Paranormies by creating a fake flying saucer that is hiding Hailey and Scott, and is picked up by NOPE officials after Lazlo and company make fake calls about it knowing that they are being monitored.

The plan works (mostly), and Scott and Hailey are brought into the restricted base, seizing an opportunity to disguise themselves as scientists with lab coats when they pass a room featuring an aforementioned disco dancing alien. They finally find the room that is housing the remnants of the chaos bot and discover its power source – a fuel cell that features the logo that Hailey drew earlier in the episode. What does this mean? Does she become evil, or did she somehow for some reason send the chaos bots to stop her from finishing her own list.

To successfully kidnap Beta back, they also pretend to be scientists Regina and George (Ha!) who have been hit by a youth ray…which works until the real Regina and George walk in. Now with Beta in their possession once again, it seems like another great time for an Ad Break as the chase begins.

Now, to get away! Fortunately, the gang discovers a group of courtesy bikes, where they put Beta and Omega into the basket mounted on the handlebars. Wait a minute— aliens, government agencies, bicycles…I think I know where this is going— yup there is the requisite E.T. parody, sans moon. I guess they didn’t want it to be too obvious. On their way out, we see Lazlo as he is launching himself over the walls of the secret base, successfully infiltrating it (maybe it's not that secure after all), and reuniting with Newborb and his pet iguana.

Back home, Beta’s battery is close to dying and they can’t get him to recharge. However, Omega reminds Hailey of the power cell that sports her logo that she got away with, saving Beta and saving the day. However, the Professor shows up once again and explains that she can’t have two AI devices helping her and that she must choose…(but why?) Clearly leaning toward Omega, as he is far more advanced and skilled than Beta, not to mention not embedded in a plush bear (all of this explained to Beta in front of him, by the way). Unsurprisingly, Hailey chooses Beta but has a question – what is the logo?

The professor explains, the logo is for Haileytonium, the power source that Hailey will discover after completing her list and the power source that powers everything in the future— including Chaos Bots.

After some words of encouragement, and some false hope regarding winning Jackpot numbers, The Professor gets pulled back to the future. That’s when Beta starts to tremble and have a freakout—no, not because he’s a now outmoded piece of tech (compared to Omega) but because the odds of successfully completing a list task are through the roof right now. That’s when Scott comes back after taking a phone call from Kristine. Remember how he all but ignored her all day when he had promised to help her with her video and spent the day with Hailey instead? Yeah, well it turns out she got on the new show, and in turn broke up with Scott. Therefore, now would be the optimal time for Hailey to kiss him.  Too bad she doesn’t and the credits roll. What, was that really going to happen maybe halfway through the first season? I didn’t think so either.

This episode of Hailey’s On It! Is now available on Disney Channel and the DisneyNOW app. You can also catch up with earlier episodes now streaming on Disney+.

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Tony Betti
Originally from California where he studied a dying artform (hand-drawn animation), Tony has spent most of his adult life in the theme parks of Orlando. When he’s not writing for LP, he’s usually watching and studying something animated or arguing about “the good ole’ days” at the parks.