To celebrate Topsy Turvy Day, LaughingPlace.com will celebrate with some fun, frivolity, and silliness. Please enjoy
While the democratic and republican parties are still narrowing down candidates, recent polls suggest that we will be looking at a race between Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump. One is famous for hiding emails, while the other is Donald Trump. That’s why I firmly believe this is the election where a wildcard independent candidate could sweep the vote.
It should come as no surprise that after running for president in both 1972 and 1976, Winnie the Pooh is poised to reclaim the victory that was robbed from him by Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford. With Eeyore as his former campaign manager, the “Pooh in ‘72” and “Winnie’s a Honey of a Candidate” 1976 campaigns were a total disaster that barely made an impact outside the berm of Disneyland.
If the other candidates remind you of fecal matter, than Pooh seems like one honey of a choice. He’s yet to take the podium or make any campaign promises, but with inspirational quotes like “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think” in his wheelhouse, there’s no way he won’t win you over. Plus, he will be the first president to solve problems with a hug.
I’m most looking forward to Pooh’s ideas on how to boost our economy. I imagine it will involve job growth in the beekeeper market and by the end of his term, honey will likely be our nation’s biggest export… and import. He could reduce our nation’s dependency on foreign money by replacing our national currency with honey. And our environment will benefit from greener modes of transportation, such as balloons.
Pooh’s biggest weakness is definitely his worldview. For example, he’s not quite sure what a Vladimir Putin is, but he’s pretty sure he doesn’t need one. And being a bit of a dimwit, he will need to sharpen his responses to criticisms by his opponents. Trump, for example, may claim that while he has several billion dollars, all Pooh has is a houseful of empty honey pots. Pooh can hopefully turn these verbal attacks with a promise to fill America’s honey pots. But shortcoming aside, he’s already got my vote.