The 5 Stages of Theme Park Grief - How I'm Adjusting to Disneyland's New Pirates of the Caribbean Changes

Last Friday, Disneyland made what appears to be a permanent, radical change to my favorite scene in my favorite theme park attraction (Pirates of the Caribbean) and my extremely emotional reaction was surprising even to myself. I considered that part of Pirates-- the quieter, eerier section of skeleton-populated caves between the two drops and the bigger, animatronic-heavy setpieces-- to be my ultimate happy place within the Happiest Place On Earth, and having it ripped away unexpectedly caused me to spiral throughout the weekend into what I am now calling the 5 Stages of Theme Park Grief. Allow me to elaborate...

Stage 1 - Denial

"This can't be happening. They wouldn't do this. They can't do this. It must be some sort of joke, or a prank, or people are misunderstanding the news. And even if it is true, it can't be as bad as it looks in the video Disney released."

This is basically what I experienced from the moment I heard the new until I drove down to Disneyland that morning, boarded the ride, and rounded that corner in the boat. Naturally all of that thinking came to a shattering halt once I saw (and heard) the new version of the scene in person.

Stage 2 - Anger

"How is this possible? How could anyone have thought this was a good idea? How did any of the higher-ups at Walt Disney Imagineering or The Walt Disney Company at large approve this abomination? I will never forgive them. I'm done with Disney Parks. They broke my heart. I can't stop going because of my job, but I'm never spending money on merchandise or sharing visits on my personal social media in the future. I will never enjoy being in the parks again."

This is about how I felt from my first through my third ride-throughs that day, and on into when I started writing my op ed expressing my thoughts while I was still in the park, which transitioned into the next stage...

Stage 3 - Bargaining

"This isn't going to last. It'll be back to the way it used to be before we know it. The outrage and backlash is too overwhelming for them not to listen to it, even for Disney."

Honestly this probably completely unfounded optimism was the only way I could manage to get through the rest of my day on Friday, and now it just feels like wishful thinking, which is the realization I came to by Saturday morning.

Stage 4 - Depression

"It's not going to be changed back, and I'm never going to get over this."

This was pretty much all day Saturday. It was seriously like I had just gone through a really bad breakup. I was inconsolable.

Stage 5 - Acceptance

I was really dreading Sunday, because my wife and I had a day at Disneyland scheduled with our friends and their young son, and I honestly wasn't sure how I would react or if I could even endure a full day at the park in my prolonged state of grief. And then my wife wasn't feeling well Sunday morning and had to bow out, and I was even more scared of facing this prospect without her support. But I went through with it, and to be perfectly candid, Disneyland managed to (mostly) win me back over that day thanks to being able to see it through the eyes of a two-year old. Bluey's Best Day Ever, Jungle Cruise (BIG Cast Compliment to Skipper Gabriel), and Tropical Hideaway were particularly helpful in that regard, in addition to meeting up with some other friends from New York for a ride on "it's a small world."

So here's where I'm at right now: "I'm still tremendously hurt by this change, and I don't know if I will ever be able to fully appreciate Pirates of the Caribbean again. That's going to sting for a long, long time... maybe even the rest of my life. BUT Disneyland still has magic in it, and ultimately what I really need to accept is that, as a 46-year-old childless Xennial (born in December of 1979, right on the border between Generation X and Millennial), I am likely no longer among the demographic targets of Disney's evolutionary strategies. Even as a professional theme park journalist, I have no say in how the parks change, or don't change, and absolutely nothing can or should be taken for granted-- even the classics. It's not a museum, nor has it ever been, and nothing is sacred. I can only make my voice heard within my reach, and hope that the powers that be at the company have what's best for the parks in their minds and hearts."

I'll be at Disneyland Resort again on Thursday, and I'm going to try riding Pirates of the Caribbean again with an open mind, and see if there's any way I can possibly accept this new Audio-Animatronic scene as part of what I have otherwise considered to be the true masterpiece of Walt Disney's original Magic Kingdom. If not, I know that eventually I'll have to get past it and enjoy whatever else I can at the parks while I am still able... and that may very well come down to the people who are there with me.