Well, we have a new Santa. After many interviews conducted at the North Pole, Scott/Santa has decided on a replacement to fill out the red coat. The choice is Simon, the not-good-at-all CEO of Everything Now. Let’s just say that I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.
Over the course of the episode-long interview, Simon continually reveals information that should get him disqualified. He himself doesn’t feel equipped to take over. His parenting skills as a single father would go out the window, and they already aren’t great. Since he is single, he doesn’t fulfill the Mrs. Clause. Add in that his business, which is literally to deliver things on time, it’s not successful in the slightest. So like, why is he getting the job. Peyton Manning feels like the better option and he stunk on ice!
While Simon is getting incorrectly chosen, Sandra is stressed about leaving The North Pole. It’s her home and anywhere else won’t feel the same. While she is taking Grace on a tour of her humble abode, she takes a quick stop to see La Befana in the woods. A weird encounter with a talking reindeer had her questioning some things, so she heads to try to get answers from the Christmas witch.
Scott is not pleased, as they are not buddy-buddy as co-Christmas icons. He ends up pulling Sandra’s moving stresses out of her and tries to calm down her worries. They are all fair, as the culture shock is a lot greater when you’re moving from a fantastical land to the suburbs filled with chain restaurants.
After a goodbye musical number (why not) and a heavy dose of regret, the family of four head to their new life in Chicago. The kids are shocked to find Scott’s real world look, but are even more shocked to experience weather that isn’t in the negatives. Unfortunately, it looks like the North Pole’s transition would be so seamless after all. (But like, I could’ve told you that. Simon : Santa :: Elon : Twitter)
Fireside Chat:
- “Santa’s really into NFTs. Nutty Fudge Teacakes.”
- Cal’s love of the mundane is so wholesome and admirable that I wish I could have an ounce of his joy. “Do the shopping carts really go together like little nesting dolls?!” Get the boy a podcast!
- Simon. Is. A. Bad. Choice. Put it on my tombstone. Not even in a “lovable issue-filled character” way. He is bad on paper and in person. Why would Scott do this?!